This post, the last one in this series, will continue to describe specific countermeasures to the usual strategies in the BPD bag of tricks used by them to distance and/or invalidate you, as well as to induce you to feel anxiously helpless, anxiously guilty, or hostile.
Today's subjects are what to do when none of the previous interventions seem to decrease the angry responses of the family member with BPD, and what to do when you yourself blow your cool and react with a nasty comment that might kick off a variable intermittent reinforcement schedule than can undo all the fine work you have done until this point..
When all the suggestions in these posts fail
The fine art of apology
This sort of statement frames the former explosive interchange as a mutual problem that the two of you need to work on solving in a constructive manner. And after all, solving interpersonal problems is what effective metacommunication is all about.