Karlen Lyons-Ruth, Ph.D. |
When it comes to the study of personality disorders as described
in medical journals, it seems like most of what's been published lately in the
field looks at which superficial aspects of personality disorders and
personality variables correlate with one another and to what extent, or how
often some construct like "impulsive aggression" is found in various
populations. Such correlations usually turn out to moderate at best and never
ever close to being 100% predictive of anything.
While group data like this may help therapists prioritize - to a minimal
degree - which other issues in a patient's life on which to focus clinical
attention whenever they happen to note one of these characteristics, it really
tells us nothing about the individual patient. Not to mention that it
neglects literally thousands of other important details that may apply only
to the patient at hand.
IMO, such studies are just different ways of slicing up the
same old bread, when it is the bakery that needs the attention. The bakery
is the interpersonal environment in which personality disorder traits develop
and flurish.
Of course, as readers of my blog know, it's very difficult to
study the bakery "empirically," because a lot of what goes on
involves subtexts or unspoken communication in family
relationships. These subtexts not only change over time but, especially in the
world of personality disorders, the subtexts of family interactions can
contradict one another. To make matters even worse, some of these contradictory
messages may show up only rarely, but become significant when seen in light of
the history of the family over
the lifetime of the participants as
well as the family's history over several generations. All of this is almost
impossible to quantify.
I was pleased to see in a recent issue of the Journal of Personality Disorders that, for the first time in a long
time, some researchers tried to address these issues in at least a partially
comprehensive way (Karlen Lyons-Ruth, PhD, Laura E. Brumariu, PhD, Jean-Francois
Bureau, PhD, Katherine Hennighausen, PhD, and Bjarne Holmes, PhD: "Role
Confusion And Disorientation In Young Adult-Parent Interaction Among
Individuals With Borderline Symptomatology." Journal of
Personality Disorders, 29(5), 641–662, 2015).
Dr. Lyons-Ruth and her colleagues did their best to look at what
they so nicely referred to as the "minute to minute fabric of
interaction..." Their data lent much support to my idea that, as a
manifestation of what evolutionary biologists call kin selection, children
sacrifice their own needs in order to stabilize unstable parents.
In fact, while I previously thought of so-called parent-child role
reversal as applying only in cases in which children act more like parents to
their childlike parents than the other way around, I realized one could
conceptualize the spoiling behavior seen in borderline personality disorder
(See the post The Family Dynamics of Patients with
Borderline Personality Disorders) as just another form of children taking
care of unstable parents - although a much more subtle and covert form.
In so called
"empirical studies" to date, the quality of parent-child interaction
has rarely been observed directly. In this study, 120 young adults were
assessed for features of borderline personality disorder, for severity of
childhood maltreatment through interviews and self-report measures, and for disturbances in parent-child
interaction during a videotaped conflict discussion task. The last part addressess a huge
criticism of the literature I have been making: no one actually looks directly at what is going on at
home.
Of course, the way
the family behaves in a laboratory setting is only an approximation of what
goes on when no one is watching, and much important behavior undoubtedly gets
omitted under this type of observation (as oppposed to when Supernanny spends a
couple of nights in the home) - but at least it is something that can be
observed directly. To paraphrase a line from the movie The Big Short that showed how certain people were
able to see through the fraud perpetrated by mortgage bankers prior to the
burst of the housing bubble in 2008, "If you want to understand a process,
actually looking at it is a very good place to start."
The conclusions of
the study: Borderline traits, as well as suicidality and self-injury
specifically, were associated with more role
confusion and more disoriented behavior in interactions with the
parent.
The definitions of
these terms, quoting more from the article: In infancy, the term disorganized refers to the apparent lack of a
consistent way of organizing attachment responses to the parent when under
stress. The types of disorganized behaviors observed in infancy include apprehensive, helpless, or depressed behaviors,
unexpected alternations of approach and avoidance toward the attachment figure,
and other marked conflict behaviors such as prolonged freezing or stilling
or slowed “underwater” movements.
Controlling children, on the other hand, “Actively attempt to control or direct the
parent’s attention and behavior, and assume a role which is usually considered
more appropriate for a parent with reference to a child. Controlling behaviors
are thought to represent a compensatory attempt by the child to maintain the
involvement and attention of the attachment figure by taking over
direction of the parent-child relationship.
Two forms of this
controlling behavior were observed. Controlling-caregiving
behavior is characterized by
organizing and guiding the parent or providing support and encouragement to the
parent (e.g. child praises the parent or asks if a parent is all right). Controlling-punitive behavior is characterized by episodes of
hostility toward the parent that are marked by a challenging, humiliating,
cruel, or defying quality (e.g., child tells parent that the parent is terrible
at doing a task). The study found that, among young adults with recurrent
suicidality/self-injury, 40% displayed high levels of role confusion compared
to 16% of those who were not suicidal.
Neither form of
disturbed interaction mediated the independent effect of childhood abuse on
borderline symptoms. In other words, these patterns contributed to the
development of the disorder in an additive fashion to the usual culprit of child
abuse. As the authors say, "even when present, abuse events are often only
the tip of the iceberg and index pervasive
difficulties within the family in establishing caregiving routines, managing
anger, and maintaining discipline" (p.643) (Italics mine).
One interesting
sidelight was noted on p. 656: with depression controlled (that is, subtracted
as a factor in the mix), young adult-parent interaction associated with
borderline traits included a particularly contradictory combination of role
confused/caregiving behavior and punitive behavior. This contradictory mix is "similar to the mixed forms of childhood controlling behavior toward the parent
that predict elevated BPD features in adulthood...", as had been noted by
the first author in a previous work from 2013. This odd mixture of punitive and
caregiving behavior "converges with the often-described shifts from
idealizing to devaluing behavior experienced in therapeutic interactions with
borderline patients."
This means that
the so-called "splitting" seen in patients with BPD may be triggered
by the demand characteristics of interactions with parents as they change over
a period of time. This finding is highly consistent with what I have written
about extensively.
In my 40s I went from a cargiving kid to a punitive kid in the space of a couple months. For reasons you've listed above, for the the longest time I saw my dad (mom is dead) as a guy who needed help and support, but as I ACTUALLY LOOKED AT THE SITUATION, I realized he was an unselfaware, cowardly, abusive moron. I went from "how can I help," to "don't you fucking look at me" almost overnight. It's a tough spot to be in because the aforementioned moron wouldn't understand why our relationship changed if Steven Spielberg himself made a 3-hour epic to tell the story. Subtextually-conflicted families are a mofo to be a part of, but thanks a million for your continued attention to the issue.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great article! I really appreciate how you highlight the importance of looking at family dynamics in understanding borderline personality disorder. Your insights into the complex relationships and behaviors are so valuable. Thank you for sharing your knowledge your work always helps me see these issues more clearly.
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