Here's a song I wrote for some of my symptom-obsessed fellow psychiatrists who are - what's the word? - oh, yes - incompetent:
Take some of these and you’ll feel better
Forget about those hippies who claimed, “speed kills”
You’ve got ADHD and just a touch of bipolar
Things are always better when you’re taking pills
Your family life’s a mess but that we won’t mention
What’s crucial is your trouble paying attention
You say bad memories make you a sad girl
If your ma drank too much, that’s ‘cause you were a bad girl
So what if your husband’s out chasing booty?
So what if your brother’s coming on to your kids?
If you find that you’re feeling moody
Your brain’s miswired, that’s all that is!
Those things you remember, they’re all distorted
Your stepfather couldn’t have fondled you
If he had he would have been reported
Others must have been there, not just you two
[repeat first verse]
(Anyone who wants the chords, please feel free to contact me).