My model for the psychotherapy treatment of repetitive self-destructive or self-defeating behavior, which I called Unified Therapy in my first book for therapists back in 1988, incorporates ideas from other academic disciplines outside of psychology and psychiatry of which most therapists are unaware, but which I believe to be highly relevant and useful. These ideas run through a lot of my previous posts.
They include kin
selection, cultural evolution, cultural lag, the power of primary
attachment figures and their effects on people’s brains not just
in childhood but throughout life, and how people read a family member's
behavior when double messages caused by unacknowledged ambivalence are
flying in all directions. In this and the next couple of posts, I am going to
summarize these concepts.
As history has progressed, the process of evolutionary change in
humans has not stopped, but has continued unceasingly. Although evolutionary
change is no longer much reflected in our physical appearance, the individual
of today is quite different from the individual of even a century ago. As described
in the classic book Escape from Freedom by
Eric Fromm, the process of what therapists call separation and
individuation has undergone a gradual but continuous
transformation.
Although we remain interdependent, we can now function at a far
more autonomous level. We are increasingly more different from one another than we
had been in the past. As human civilization and technology has developed,
people have come to be more and more masters of their environment, and have
become freer to develop their own separate identity apart from the needs of
larger groups. They have become free to find their own way in the world, and
express their own unique pattern of thoughts, emotions, and preferences.
However, newly-found freedoms can be frightening; the security of the
collective remains appealing.
As we have become more separate and more individuated, the
social roles that we play have become progressively less rigidly defined.
The signposts which tell us how we are supposed to behave in relationships
have become less clear-cut. We have more options, more freedom, and more
conflicting demands upon us. When it comes time for life choices to be made,
individuals may become confused over what behavior is expected of them, and
they may also become confused over what behavior they expect from one another.
In situations where the natural inclinations of individuals seem
to conflict with the needs of their family system, individuals have a tendency
to put the needs of the family in front of their own. The fact that systemic
considerations seem to take precedence over selfish ones in determining our
motives is a natural outgrowth of the evolutionary importance of species survival over
individual survival in biological systems (kin selection). Our
instinct to preserve our species leads us to concern ourselves with family
homeostasis — the smooth functioning of the collective.
If family homeostasis seems to require us to repress and sacrifice
our own idiosyncratic desires, we frequently will do so (although I do believe we have free will and can choose not to - but to do so is extremely frightening). We will then play a
role which covers up our real thoughts and desires by developing a false self
or persona. We may pretend to think or desire that which the family seems to need us to think or desire, whether or not we actually do. Unfortunately, this is no
longer as easy to do as it used to be, because we see that others outside of our family are able to do what we
might secretly wish to do. More on this in the next post, which will discuss cultural
evolution and cultural lag.
