tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3125132926699584358.post7785191500388024635..comments2024-03-28T08:45:19.645-05:00Comments on Family Dysfunction and Mental Health Blog: The Obvious Secret of Interpersonal Influence Within FamiliesDavid M. Allen M.D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/06280912088483192599noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3125132926699584358.post-22325309455583954102013-10-18T16:07:32.145-05:002013-10-18T16:07:32.145-05:00Thank you for your answer. I am a "defective&...Thank you for your answer. I am a "defective" in the process of divorce from a "little man", a sister to a "monster/little woman and a daughter to a self-centered mother (preteen emotionally). I've discovered patterns of subtle mistreatment where the three above regulate their emotions through diminishment of me. <br />I can only do IT for geographical reasons and the fact that they enjoy it much more than me (the only thing that works so far is withdrawal, but sooner or later they resume their act, so constant vigilance is necessary). Well, the failure of the marriage came from my inability to bring the change without "inducing anger, withdrawal and defensiveness" in my "little man". <br />I'm trying to figure out what is my pay off from these exchanges. Elizabethnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3125132926699584358.post-81176602494543117712013-10-15T22:41:00.426-05:002013-10-15T22:41:00.426-05:00Hi Elizabeth,
Awareness certainly helps, but some...Hi Elizabeth,<br /><br />Awareness certainly helps, but someone stuck in patterns like these has to figure out how to discuss it with the other people involved without inducing anger, withdrawal, or defensiveness. That isn't easy. One also should understand what purpose the patterns serve, and hopefully a bit about how they developed. In dysfunctional families, a therapist who understands family dynamics is often needed to coach people on how to address patterns constructively.with one another.David M. Allen M.D.https://www.blogger.com/profile/06280912088483192599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3125132926699584358.post-3640712509590775812013-10-15T18:38:55.540-05:002013-10-15T18:38:55.540-05:00It sounds like we are "fated" to act the...It sounds like we are "fated" to act these ways. Is the awareness enough to be free?Elizabethnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3125132926699584358.post-50061060805538774742013-10-08T21:56:11.885-05:002013-10-08T21:56:11.885-05:00Yes quite!
I know this to be true. Resistance to ...Yes quite!<br /><br />I know this to be true. Resistance to me changing when all my wife wanted was for me to change was something to see!! Only to mention her of course. André Pampelnoreply@blogger.com